In what is a reverse of the Vikings conquering of Ireland, the boys in green head to Denmark to plunder all before them this weekend in the first leg of this hugely anticipated World Cup play offs.

Here at The Dose.ie we’ve decided to use science to predict just who will come out on top. Yes when it comes to matters both on and off the field just how do us Irish fare against the so called great Danes, let the investigation begin!

Booze Hounds: Guinness V Carlsberg

Both have their appeal no doubt and both are amongst the biggest drink brands globally. Carlsberg does probably have the better slogan, whereas Guinness has had many over the years, Guinness is Good For You, Guinness For Strength etc. But has Carlsberg ever had a TV ad that’s made it into a Christy Moore song??? …no thought not

Result: Ireland Win

Battle of The Bands

Aside from providing one quarter of Metallica through the frankly god like drumming of  Lars Ulrich, arguably Denmark’s greatest musical export is Whigfiled of ‘Saturday Night’ fame. There are high hopes for Lucas Graham but as his late father hailed from Wicklow we’ll be claiming him, like so many of greatest soccer stars under the parentage rule.

It’s fair to say that we have provided a long list of global chart toppers from Bob Geldof and Sinead O Conner to modern day warblers Niall Horan and Hozier. We hold the trump card here though through like them or loathe them the mighty U2. OK so Bono and the boys have yet to write a song that has its own dance routine  ala Saturday Night but this really is a no contest, Saturday Night is still a cracking tune all the same.

Result: Ireland Win

Keeping It in the Family: The Hunts V The Laudrups

There haven’t been many brothers to represent the boys in green in the history of the FAI with Stephen and Noel Hunt being the last from the same family to pull on the green jersey at senior international level.

Noel won 3 caps for the national side and may or may not have scored last minute goal to draw against Italy in Bari in a world cup qualifier 2009, see video below and judge for yourself.

Older bro Stephen has had the more impressive international career with 39 caps to his name but will perhaps  always been known as the reason Peter Cech wears a scrum cap.

Clan Hunt donning the green jersey

Michael and Brian Laudrup amassed 186 caps and 58 goals for their national side between them  alongside glittering individual club careers far outranking the Hunt clan on this score, although the Laudrups never had the crazed on pitch persona of Stephen Hunt, so this one is hard to call!

The Laudrups in action for Denmark

Result: Denmark Win (Just about)

Writers Block

When you say Denmark you automatically think of Hans Christen Anderson creator of so many of our child hood fairy tales from The Ugly Duckling the Little Mermaid, indeed such is his fame there is an airport named after the writer just outside Copenhagen. Denmark have won 2 noble prizes for literature but unfortunately for the Danes this lags well behind the 4 noble laureates notched up by us Irish thanks to  Messer’s Heaney, Beckett, Bernard-Shaw and Yeats.

Result: Ireland Win

The Bond Between US

For a country known for its friendliness it might be surprising that Denmark has provided no fewer than 2 Bond villains across 4 movies in the Daniel Craig era Jesper Christensen played the wily Mr White in Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace and Mads Mikkelsen superbly played twisted bleeding eye poker player Le Chiffre in Craig’s first outing as 007 in Casino Royal. This is impressive and worthy of note but once again we have the bragging rights as between the two us we’re the only country to produce and actual James Bond, step forward Navans finest Pierce Brosnan.

 

Result: Ireland Win

Overall Result: Ireland 4-1 Denmark

So it’s clear, the results are in and by our scientific calculations we’re on our way to Russia!

If you’re still interested in watching the now forgone conclusion of the actual games itself s kick off in Copenhagen this Sat 11th November KO 19:45 (Irish Time)with the return leg at the Aviva taking place on Tues 14th  Nov KO 19:45.

COYBIG!!!!!

 

 

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